We know times are hard unless you were skeevy enough to have Madoff with a shit-ton of loot last year. Pay thru March, Tor(rent) up, or just boot off the neighbors for a few days. You must. not. miss. the HBO premiere of Death on a Factory Farm on March 16.


It Takes Two

November 5, 2008

Done. Next!
Send us some of that leftover schwag, and not the dusty crap y’all were selling over at the Cafe shop. We want that prime shit: three pink gestation crate iPhone covers, a veal crate playground set, and some battery cage keychains.

November Ballot

February 28, 2008

CHF: like white on rice, baby.


The Day Before Slaughter

December 13, 2007

‘Twas the day before slaughter,
And throughout the dark shed
All of us shrieking,
All soon to be dead.

The snare on my snout,
And the one on my ear,
First sun on my face,
Now I’m screaming in fear.

Smithfield_investigation_ 004_0001

My piglets! My babies!
So small and so frail.
They’ll be lost if I leave them,
Please don’t drag me from here.

I’ll walk if you let me,
Don’t hit me, please stop!
My body and spirit, now broken,
I drop.


They speak but in curses;
No kind words for me.
More beatings, then kicking;
In death, I’ll be free.

Day in and day out,
Just straight to their work,
More pain, then the blood,
Tails and testicles in one jerk.

Smithfield_investigation_ 018_0001

If you still believe in Santa,
Or walls you can walk through,
PETA’s undercover elves have holiday video
Shot especially for you!

Wrapped and ribboned
And tied up with a bow,
From Murphy Family Ventures, and Smithfield,
Now you know.

Their lives are this torture,
Kept far from your sight.
Happy Hogidays to all,
And to all a good-night.

Highest combined concentration of burger, bacon rack, and milk jug production units in the country. Yeah, the whole country. We beat friggin’ Iowa for shit’s sake. 120 pounds of waste crap and pee per cow every day, flushed out of the “barns,” into multi-million-gallon surge ponds lagoons of crap and pee, then sprayed on the ground surrounding them. And that’s just the milk-makers. Go play around with the Food and Water Watch Map. Diaper yourself beforehand.

On the drought side of the equation, 1,780,000 CA cows used for dairy are slurping up 4 gallons of water a day to squeeze out just one gallon of milk so you can suck it down your throat like you’re still an infant nursing from someone else’s mother.

Four gallons of water to get 1 gallon of cow milk.
Times 7.5 gallons of milk a day of “high production efficiency.”
Times 365 days a year.
Times 1,780,000 cows used for dairy.

Your ten-minute showers are already down to seven, you can’t afford to flush the toilet, and your house is burning to the ground beside the lake that’s gone dry. Don’t worry, it’s not too late to put off thinking about it.

Five upcoming info sessions for the Prevention of Farm Animal Cruelty Act ballot initiative:

Santa Monica
Mon., November 5
Westside Pavilion Mall, Community Room B
10800 West Pico Blvd. #312
Los Angeles, CA 90064
6:00-9:00 p.m.

Wed., November 7
Century Downtown Theatre
555 East Main Street
Ventura, CA 93001
6:00-9:00 p.m.

Marina Del Rey
Fri., November 9
6:30-9:30 p.m.
RSVP to director@humanecalifornia.org for the address and directions to this event.

Sat., November 10
Western University
309 E. Second Street
Pomona, CA 91766
11:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m.

Mission Viejo
Sun., November 11
9:30 and 11:30 a.m. services
Tapestry Unitarian Universalist Congregation
25801 Obrero Drive
Mission Viejo, CA 92691

In other news, the fire that burned 38,300 acres and 15 homes in the Santa Clarita area, damaged the home of the Gentle Barn founders, and forced the evacuation of 60+ animals, some of whom are disabled and blind, was set by a kid playing with matches.

Every Monday-Friday after-school and Saturday/Sunday activity spent caring for these animals, starting yesterday and until you turn 21, seems an appropriate mandatory minimum.

In Soviet Russia

October 20, 2007


Tiny screech owl misses you. But ban on U.S. chicken imports no problem, my friends.

How to tag this?! We don’t really do wildlife issues, or environmental, outside the broad range of available animal agribusiness effects debacles. Oh WTF, chickens and bingo.